In a recent Substack article, Jud Brewer, MD, Ph.D., explores the concept of distress tolerance, emphasizing the detrimental effect of constant cell phone use on our ability to endure discomfort. Distress tolerance refers to our capacity to endure emotional discomfort without letting it disrupt our actions or relationships. By tolerating challenging emotions, we align our responses with our values rather than seeking to eliminate the discomfort, which often intensifies it.
To build distress tolerance, Brewer suggests simple exercises, like resisting the urge to check your phone while waiting. This exercise may seem trivial, but it illustrates how discomfort can be challenging to tolerate. Achieving substantial change requires breaking down goals into manageable steps, a process Brewer calls “scaling.”
Brewer recommends creating a scale from 1-10 for your goals, with 10 representing your ultimate target and lower numbers indicating smaller, more manageable steps. For instance, if reducing Instagram use is the goal, you might start by not checking the app during meals alone (a step rated 3-5). Gradually increasing the challenge allows for sustainable change, teaching your nervous system that discomfort is manageable. Ultimately, building distress tolerance through small, daily shifts makes significant change achievable. The journey towards becoming comfortable with discomfort is gradual, but the benefits are profound.